Lose Your Soul

Lose Your Soul - Dead Man's Bones

"I get up in the morning to the beat of the drum, I get up every morning and put my dreams away..."

There's a part of me that dies like a moth entering the belly of the beast every time I wake up.

Where's the fun in growing up? Why was I so happy to be out of highschool, and why did I assume that everything would get better? Surprise Brooklyn... It didn't.

I'm sitting on my bed nearly a month later, with no job, no car, no money with nothing but a highschool diploma and 2 warnings on my juvenile record that will probably all wipe away once I turn 18.

I have 2 weeks and 15 dollars left until I am an adult. Until I get kicked off of the insurance plan that I couldn't even begin to afford. I mean, because you need that thing called money which I don't have any clue about.

I thought that because I got out of highschool all of the boy drama would wipe away, and I'd suddenly become social/ date somewhat... but surprise! No boys knocking on my door. At least in highschool boys were kind of obligates to talk to you.

That's not even the point...

My point is growing up isn't fun.

Let's dive into my daily routine, shall we?
I wake up everyday at about 1:00 pm, and watch vines until about 2:30, decide it's appropriate to contemplate life in my bathtub until about 5:00, then I get ready for the day (which usually turns into sitting on my couch). Then, I fight with my mom for about an hour because I want to take the car to go get myself dinner, go to Zupas at about 8:45, then sit in my car till about 10:00, go inside, listen to music till about 12:00, then watch Netflix till about 4:00 am.

Yep... Growing up is the life.

I am like a movie star. The kind that are starred in those romantic comedic movies, but there's a twist to my life; there's no romance, mostly just me laughing at my own jokes.

Maybe that boy drama was the point. Who knows anymore...

I'm just a bum. A "not-quite-adult-but-still-awkwardly-teen" teen.

All I want to do is sleep.

I read somewhere that if you sleep more than 9 hours you're at a very high risk of getting Parkinson's disease. If that was the case, I should probably be dead from it.

I read somewhere else, that once your reality becomes better than your dreams, is when your life is the happiest.

Well, I guess my life is very boring, and sad, because my dreams are all I have.

I don't sleep to drown. I sleep to dream.

I don't really know which is worse.

Because with drowning, you can be drowning, then be saved.

But with dreaming, you are saved... Then you wake up... And you begin to drown.

In dreams you can kiss boys. When I wake up, I can't kiss boys so it's as simple as that.

Just kidding. (Kind of)...

I don't know the point of this post, but... Like... Eat your damn veggies, live your damn life, don't get old because it's a damn trap, don't lose your damn soul in growing up blah blah blah...

DAMN.