I'm mad

I'm mad that I have lost the ability to think of creative things to blog about.

I'm mad that you can write half a paragraph and spend 10 minutes on a blog post and get 10 comments on how great you are while I spend a few hours trying to write meaningful paragraphs of how things really affect me and get 1 comment along the line of "This is good".

I'm mad that you always get one more point than me on every test we take.

I'm mad that I get mad at all of these stupid things.

I'm mad that I don't have the relationship you do with your mom, how you can jokingly fist fight her in your kitchen only to have her tell you she loves you after it.

I'm mad I didn't do better in school and I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel just to graduate with a few less credits than everyone else... (Shhh...)

I'm mad I'm not friends with the boy I worshiped, I got tired of getting stood up because you didn't seem to care about how it made me feel.

I'm so damn mad I still worship you. I'm mad that if you ever needed anything, I'd be more than happy to help you.

I'm mad at the way guys can adjust their wu-tang all hours of the day, wherever and it's not a bad thing but the second a girls boob is askew in her bra, she needs to excuse herself to go fix it.

I'm mad that I stopped caring about 99% of everything in my life because it's easier than being disappointed when those things get ripped from your grasp.

I'm mad I'm so awkward and the fact it took me an hour to get the courage to tell a cute boy congrats on his mission call. (He's going to Mexico, that's what took me so long to ask...)

I'm mad that the only subject I'm good at is math, but I failed it because of my attendance.

I'm mad at my freaking bed! Why can't I just go to school on time? Why does my bed have to ruin my attendance every single morning???

I'm mad at the fact it's the first day of spring break and none of my friends will even ask me what I'm doing. I'm sitting here on my bed in a house by myself while everyone is making memories.

I'm mad at the boy with so much potential and has so much going for him, who I think the world of but he won't do anything nor does he see what I see.

I'm mad at the people who got a 32 on the ACT because I thought my 28 was pretty good, but...

I'm mad at my dad for not being there, and not even wanting to be a part of my life anymore...

I'm mad that we don't hangout and everyone at school thinks we're besties when we don't talk outside of school.

I'm mad at how scared I really am to express my feelings on a blog, not the happy stuff, but the ones that are about boys and lust and shit.

I'm mad at the person who pretends she dated my best friend even though they only kissed twice and constantly blogs about how he ruined her life and proposed to his girlfriend on your birthday in spite of you... When in actuality he thinks your birthday is in September.

I'm mad at the demons who lives inside me that's just so damn mad at me all the time.

I'm mad at blogs.

I'm mad at Nelson.

But mostly I'm just mad at myself for reasons you'll never understand.